Yesterday we said farewell to you, my beloved companion. It was one of the worst moments of my life. This morning, fresh and new, my thoughts go back to you again, from the beginning.
I still remember when we first found you in that pet shop in Gatineau. You and your brother were the last of your litter. He was a hyper-active bully and you looked so oppressed and timid. You were an easy choice!
I remember the walk back home with you in a little box. You weighed so little. It was so hot outside and you were so frightened and hot. I remember your little pink tongue sticking out as you gasped for air.
I remember how you got accustomed to our apartment, how you found all kinds of odd places to sleep. I remember how you’d sleep through anything! Movie parties, Mario Kart battles, the neighbors’s arguments…
I remember how little you were: how tiny and delicate your bones felt in my hands.
I remember how you used to meow in a way that sounded like “hello!”. How your favorite song was the “Epona” melody from the Legend of Zelda. You used to come to us when we whistled it. I had vowed that we’d hum it to you when you would be sick and dying. I forgot. I’m sorry…
I remember how happy you were when we came to pick you up from the vet that first time . I’m sorry that we de-clawed you: Caroline is a seamstress and cats had ruined her work in the past- we couldn’t take the risk. But it was cruel and I’m so sorry that we did it.
I remember petting your warm, furry white tummy. How you’d purr until you drooled. How you’d happily chirp at us in contentment.
I’m sorry that our other cat, Voodoo, bullied and harassed you. I’m sorry that you were no longer our only pet. I’m sorry that we neglected you when the baby arrived. I’m sorry that I did not brush you more often or make more of an effort to cuddle you.
I’m sorry that I got angry and mean to you. I’m sorry that we grew distant as you got sicker and sicker. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be in the same room as you when you were put to sleep.
I’m sorry Zombie. We loved you very much, even though I didn’t show it much in the last 2 years.
I know that you suffer no longer. I hope that happier memories were with you when you passed away.
Rest in Peace, my friend.