Sassy Assassins

Artist unknown
Artist unknown

To celebrate the launch of Alpha Blue, a cheeky, sleazy and fun romp through sci-fi OSR gaming, I’ve released a quick and dirty resource which, while primarily intended for and suited to  the Alpha Blue RPG, it is completely rules-agnostic, so a GM could use this in any game, really.

I eventually plan on polishing this and making it into an actual PDF with original art (by yours truly). In the meantime, enjoy!

The Sassy Assassin is an NPC villain inspired by Bond girls, sexploitation sci-fi books and movies and by the “lesbian stripper ninja” trope. she is meant to be campy, weird and fun: not to be taken seriously nor as a statement about women in science fiction.

On that note, the concept could easily be inverted, or “gender-swapped” with some minor tweaking. He could be a Casanova Killer or Gun Gigolo. Season to taste!

The Sassy Assassin should be brought in to target one or more of the player characters (PCs) or perhaps one of their hapless NPC allies.

They operate through stealth, guile and seduction; striking when their quarry is helpless or has their guard down. Never through direct confrontation because her abilities (and the concept) would be wasted.

It is assumed that she is human or near-human. At the very least anthropomorphic/humanoid.

Define your own villain using the following random tables that each use d6s:

Number Appearing

By default the Sassy Assassin is an individual (option 1 or 2 in the following list). But to change things up, you can roll here to determine how many there are. The fewer, the stronger their capabilities.

  1. Legendary Lone She-Wolf. Her level is that of the highest PC +5.
  2. Solo. Her level is that of the highest PC +3.
  3. Duo. Make their combined levels equal to the sum of the party’s levels.
  4. Trio. Make them all the same level as the strongest PC.
  5. Quartet. Same levels as the party members.
  6. Gang. They are an order or organisation instead of a few individuals. They depend on strength in numbers. Consider them as the equivalent of mooks or low level goons in your preferred game system. They all share the same features.


This is how she usually appears: her true form could be quite different, depending on what else you roll up later.

  1. Human. She is a regular human but her hairdo is extravagant and dyed a remarkable color, such as neon pink, electric blue, glowing jale or starlight.
  2. Human. She is a regular human but dons some expensive and exotic tattoos, such as glowing circuitry patterns, moving koi fish or glow in the dark Space cats.
  3. Anthropomorphic. While very human, she has endearing traits of a familiar, cute animal, such as a cat, deer or rabbit.
  4. Alien. A humanoid, with traits still considered attractive to most humans and other humanoids, but a bit… off. Maybe she has extra arms, huge black eyes, green skin or feathers.
  5. Android. She has obvious cybernetic features, such as joint seams, glowing eyes or a metallic sheen to her skin, but otherwise is still beautiful.
  6. Stereotypical Fantasy… in Space. She is a space elf, dwarf, halfling, satyr or whatever tickles your fancy.

Stealth power

All Sassy Assassins have a cool ability to remain unseen or befuddle the minds of their victims.

  1. Psychic shape changer. Each individual sees her differently: to heterosexual men and lesbian women she looks like the most attractive, beautifully enticing being ever. Her personality will also match the onlooker’s preference (to some she is confident and smug, to others she is meek and shy etc…). To heterosexual women and gay men she appears average, unassuming or even dull. The strange thing is that no one is able to describe any specifics about her appearance due to the psychic clouding effect. She has thus escaped profiling because of so many conflicted witness descriptions…
  2. Chameleon skin. Her pores contain color shifting spots, like those of a squid, cuttlefish or octopus. She can fade into any background colors at will, but must remain stationary to be completely hidden. While on the move she’s visible but her outline is blurry, so she becomes a difficult target for attacks. This Stealth power is only effective when very scantily clad, or nude.
  3. Living shadow. This Allen’s natural form is a black ooze that absorbs light and uses it to create colors and textures when it takes a humanoid form. Whenever she wants, she can return to her ooze form (any carried objects are left behind). The ooze form can squeeze through any cracks and can live in the vacuum of space or in high pressures of deep oceans.
  4. Personal cloaking device. She carries a rare and expensive piece of technology on her belt which can hide her from vision and sensors. She never removes the belt, even during intimate moments, so she’s decorated it with precious gems. It also contains several mind-affecting aphrodisiac spray nodes and a personal shield generator.
  5. Psionic . She can user her mind powers to hide in plain sight, erase memories or even brain blast others into unconsciousness. Consult psionic powers lists, if you have any in your game of choice, or give her a bunch of spells that would be appropriate.
  6. Extra dimensional. She can slip through into another dimension, popping into and out of existence in a puff of star dust and brimstone. But only for brief moments, so she looks like she’s doing brief teleportation leaps.
Caroline Munro, Starcrash, 1979
Caroline Munro, Starcrash, 1979


Her choice of death dealing.

  1. Poison. Typically applied via food, drinks or drugs, but perhaps also from prolonged contact with her skin.
  2. Strangulation. Often by using a cyber garrote or whip, or often used during sessions of auto-erotic asphyxiation.
  3. Impregnation. While performing carnal acts, she injects an alien embryo into her target The monstrous “infant” will gestate and burrow out of their host’s body in 1d3 days, killing them and maybe many others as it grows rapidly into a nightmarish predatory monster that stalks devours everyone around it until it expires on its own in d3 days.
  4. Head Eating. Her entire head can open up into a gigantic maw which can envelop, chomp and eat a human sized head in one bite. She has to get really close, though.
  5. Suffocation. Her true form is a huge, translucent caterpillar that engulfs a target in their sleep and slowly crushes and drowns them.
  6. Disintegration. She carries an ex boyfriend’s Disintegration ray gun: a rare and lethal device that causes a hit target to burst into glowing, airbrushed effects and  disappear, leaving only the echo of their screams behind. It takes a while to recharge between shots (once per hour), so she has to have a sure aim.
Artist unknown
Artist unknown

Cool, unique appendage

Each Sassy Assassin has a neat feature that is as cool as it is lethal.

  1. Gun leg or arm. It’s a high caliber machine gun or lazer, but it’s super obvious.
  2. Cybernetic legs or arms (grants her super strength and grip (arms) or speed and leaping ability (legs). There’s a 1 in 3 chance that these limbs are coated in realistic synthetic skin.
  3. Strange Wings. They look like delicate insect wings, but are not suited for flight. However she can rub them together to create a hypnotic chirping hum that can make beings become comatose and helpless.
  4. Prehensile tail. It is strong enough to grab, grapple, entangle and even throw other people. Other than defence, it has other, kinder uses in the bedroom…
  5. Antennae. These feathery stalks coming out of her forehead grant  her extrasensory perception (blindsense) and give off intoxicating spores that make living creatures feel drugged and sluggish.
  6. Living hair. Her head might be covered in living snakes, a shape-changing putty or entangling leafy vines. Either way her hair can make extra attacks that can grapple nearby foes and render them helpless.
Skydoll by Alessandro Barbucci
Skydoll by Alessandro Barbucci

Fatal Flaw

Each villain should have one. These are meant to make them more interesting and even provide plot hooks.

If you’ve rolled up multiple Assassins instead of just a single one, give this flaw to only one of them and make sure that this NPC is the most interesting one that the party interacts with the most.

Steam girl by Ruxing Gao
Steam girl by Ruxing Gao
  1. She will reluctantly fall in love with her quarry when they first meet. She might be persuaded to give up the job with some good roleplaying and/or a good Charisma check by this person.
  2. One eyed. Either she’s sporting a dashing eye patch or she’s a cyclops; due to her lack of depth perception, any successful melee or ranged attacks have a  1-in-6 chance of missing anyways, but she’s unaware of this disadvantage.
  3. On the run: she’s a runaway pleasure slave or a very life-like android. Local law enforcement and bounty hunters will be on the lookout for her because of her great worth.
  4. She’s unaware that she’s a robot. If the party discovers this somehow and reveals this truth to her, she’ll have an existential crisis and abandon her quarry.
  5. Requires winding on a regular basis. The huge golden key in her back must be turned by a trustworthy assistant, or by gullible, lovesick bystanders (because she can’t reach it herself). If she ever misses her daily winding, she will become comatose and unable to move. Essentially “turned off” and unaware of her surroundings.
  6. Due to injuries from defeat by a rival, she requires a life support system. She wears this unit on her back which feeds tubes into her body and a breather mask over her face. She can remove the apparatus in specially set up rooms that have precise environmental controls (example, hotel suites for aliens that require special atmospheres). If the backpack is damaged, or any of the tubes or mask disconnected, she will be at disadvantage to all of her rolls.

Thanks for reading!

Check out Alpha Blue by Korthalis Publishing here.